Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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