quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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