508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
