Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
