I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
