I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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