So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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