And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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