i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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