i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I am full of burrito and curiosity
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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