apparently the secret to your success is patron
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
