I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
