Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
