how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
