so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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