R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
