wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
