he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
