Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
