So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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