Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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