Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
