cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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