I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
