two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
