I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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