one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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