I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
