is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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