he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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