did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
