I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
