she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it was like eating out sand paper
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
