I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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