just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
