This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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