then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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