Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I want her autograph on my taint
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The struggles of a small town man whore
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
