At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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