Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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