Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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