He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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