You really coming over, don't trick.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
