So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
