Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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