Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
