i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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