I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
