He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
