This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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