I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
