I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
